I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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