....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
