Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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