I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My pussy is not your playground.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
