It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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