Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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