when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
