a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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