I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I want is dick and wine.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
