i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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