Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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