Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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