So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
