Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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