just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize