The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
