Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
