The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
