No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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