i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
