My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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