Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
