NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
