He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
