I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
