You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
