just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
