It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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