this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
