pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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