I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
