everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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