Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize