You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
