is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also, beer. Big fan.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
