So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
