Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
