I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
