Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
