so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
