im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
