I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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