it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
