She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
