He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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