I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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