what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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