I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
