I got chris browned last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
