My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
