Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
